Manitoulin to Mastectomies!!!

 

We just arrived home from a week on Manitoulin Island...it was the first time we’ve been to the Island and we loved it. It is a super sleepy place, pretty low key and not flashy at all. We stayed in a little place on Lake Mindemoya...pretty basic but it was perfect for what we were looking for. The weather wasn’t fantastic which meant we ended up doing a few more day trips than we planned but this actually worked out well because it meant that we got to travel around and see a lot of different spots on the Island.

We headed over on the Chi-Cheemaun ferry from Tobermory which was fun – especially for Luke. We then spent the week discovering great beaches all over the island, we did a couple of really cool hikes and bike rides and ate far too many dangerously tasty apple fritters from the local bakery in Mindemoya called Mums!!!!

It definitely took us a few days to unwind from the craziness of the last few months but once we got into the super chilled atmosphere of island living it was hard to come home! We really needed this little getaway. It was so great to spend time together as a family but I have to confess, I also had a few moments when I was hit by the gut-wrenching reality that is our lives at the moment. This trip made me more acutely aware than ever before about how much I really, really love my life and my family (insert deep breath/sigh!).....

The weather was pretty crummy on Saturday so we opted to do the drive around the mainland instead of taking the ferry home. We drove over the swing bridge in Little Current (which by the way, is very cool) and travelled through La Cloche Mountains (which apparently used to be higher than the Rocky Mountains) ... The scenery was breathtaking and I couldn’t help reminisce about my canoe tripping days in Killarney as we drove through this region.

The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful....and unfortunately, the closer we got to home....the more I realized that my relaxed holiday state was being replaced with anxiety about Wednesday. With each passing kilometer South, my impending surgery got harder and harder to ignore!

Tim is back to work tomorrow and I will spend the next couple of days getting things organized before we head to the city on Tuesday.
I have come to the realization that there is absolutely no way to psychologically prepare to have both of my breasts removed. I don’t know that I have ever experienced so many mixed emotions. On the one hand, I am so glad to be moving on with this next step and I really believe that it is the right thing to do - but on the other hand, I am absolutely dreading waking up from surgery without my breasts.

Not that this would be fun for any woman at anytime, but at 36? It totally sucks....I am grieving the loss of my breasts and my body as I’ve known it for 36years but I am also grieving the functional loss of my breasts in the event that we ever have more children. I am also really nervous/worried about how the next few weeks will be for Luke. Throughout this whole experience we’ve tried really hard (and I think for the most part we’ve succeeded) to protect him from what has been going on. Not being able to lift him for one month is going to be tough on all of us. But as I’ve done all along, I keep trying to remind myself that things could always be much worse.

I just want to finish off this post by thanking everyone again so much for everything. I haven’t always had the time or energy to phone or write back...but as I’ve said before, it means so much to know that I have so many great people supporting me through this awful journey.

I am not sure if I will write another update before my surgery but if not, then I will be sure to send another update after my boob chop!



"Gonna Catch A Big One"

 

 

My first merry-go-round at The Providence Bay Fall Fair!!!

Jools Loving Island Life Too!!!

 

The North Channel - What A View!