Met with the Oncologist Today

We met with the oncologist today for the first time...she was absolutely amazing. I must confess though that I found the wait to see her incredibly hard.
For the first time since going to The Juravanski, we found ourselves sitting in a crowded waiting room full of very sick looking people. People who were clearly in various stages of treatment. All accompanied by loved ones - friends and/or family members who were putting on a brave face, trying to be supportive but also trying to hide their concern and fear from their loved one. I couldn't help but wonder what type of cancer brought each patient there. I wondered how old each patient was (I was clearly the youngest apart from one other young woman likely in her 20s) and what their life looked like without or before cancer.

I found myself wanting to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs...scream in anger at this really shitty disease that affects way too many people. At the same time, I also couldn't help but feel fortunate if not a little guilty that I still feel physically as healthy and well as I ever have in my life!

While we were waiting I saw a poster talking about Cancer Care in Canada and how our health care system and government could be doing better a better job....already feeling a little disgruntled that I had to push hard for my own diagnosis what I read pissed me off even more....an excerpt from the poster read:

The truth is this: in a country that considers its
universal health system its greatest pride, the likelihood
of being screened for various cancers depends
on your income, your education level, and where you
live. That fatal inequity applies to treatment as well. In
Canada, as you travel from west to east and from south
to north, your chances of dying from cancer go up.

If you want to read more check out the following website:
http://www.controlcancer.ca/about-the-c2cc

Anyways...needless to say by the time we finally saw the oncologist I wasn't exactly in the best frame of mind....

We chatted with her for ages and again she confirmed that provided there are no other 'surprises' in my next surgery that chemo is not really a recommendation for me. Apparently I am in a unique group of women with tumours under 1cm upon whom there is very little research to support the use of chemo. The feeling is that the potential risks are outweighed by any possible benefits.

I did request to have some further testing done on my crappy cancer cells. There is a test that is routinely offered in the States called Oncotype Dx Testing...it is a test that looks at the expression of certain genes in the cancer cells and provides a 'recurrence score'. This test is of most value for women with small invasive estrogen receptor positive cancers - it can help determine which women in my 'category' will benefit from chemotherapy. It was only through my own research that I found out that OHIP recently (i.e. in the last month) started to pay for this test through a special access program (otherwise it costs $4000) but it is still not routinely offered to most women (insert - sigh).

Don't get me wrong - I do not WANT chemo - but I do WANT to make sure not having it is not going to come back and bite me in the bottom a few years down the road! It will take about 1 month for these results so until then we are back to the waiting game.

The doctor did recommend that I start taking Tamoxifen for 5years....having read about potential side effects I am not too excited about this. I likely won't start this until after my next surgery but if the next time you see me I have gained a few pounds, am having hot flashes and am balding you will know why!

The other not so great thing that came out of our meeting with the medical oncologist was the recommendation not to have any more children because my crappy cancer is/was hormone driven - this one hurts A LOT.........

Yes, this is a grumpy post. Possibly because I am PMS-ing, possibly because of the steroids I've been on for the last 2 weeks, possibly because I am just pissed off with this whole thing but probably a combination of all 3 of these things!!!!!!!!!!